Marketing jokes

Marketing jokesI thought I would share some jokes that were sent from a student of the Professional Certificate in Management that I work on as an Associate Lecturer. I thought it was consultants that got the brunt of bad jokes but clearly not! I culled out the non family friendly ones and here is what was left:

IT Problems

A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tyre blows on the car. They get out of the car and look at the problem.

The software manager says, “I can’t do anything about this – it’s a hardware problem.”

The hardware manager says, “Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself.”

The marketing manager says, “Hey, 75% of it is working – let’s ship it!

Marketing Explained

You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room, AND:

1. You go up to her and say: “Hi, I’m great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Direct Marketing)

2. You give your friend a buck. She goes up and says: “Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Advertising)

3. You somehow get her mobile number. You call and chat her up a while and then say: “Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Tele-Marketing)

4. You recognize her. You walk up to her, refresh her memory and get her to laugh and giggle and then suggest: “Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Customer Relationship Management)

5. You stand straight, you talk soft and smooth, you open the door for the ladies, you smile like a dream, you set an aura around you playing the Mr. Gentleman and then you move up to the girl and say: “Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Hard Selling)

6. SHE comes over and says: “Hi, I hear you’re great in bed, how about it?” (Now THAT is the power of Branding).

A glass

The Optimist says:”The glass is half full.”

The Pessimist says:”The glass is half empty.”

The Marketing Consultant says:”Your glass needs re-sizing.”


I hope you enjoyed!

Please feel free to share your favourite marketing jokes below!

Thanks, Andi Roberts

[Image Credit: Jay Lopez on]

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